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Levitate

Levitate


Description : Levitate
MY EYES ARE fixed on the red digits that light up my room from the bedside table. I watch as the numbers slowly climb and grow closer to the midnight hour. Tomorrow is a day I wish I could sleep through. I wish I could erase it from my mind. No, actually that’s not true. I wish she were still here. I wish I didn’t have to live through this day without her. In just twelve short minutes, it will officially be my mother’s birthday and she’s not here to celebrate it.

I fight off the memories of why that is. The pain slices through me. Hot tears race down my cheeks and I make absolutely no effort to wipe them away. There is no use. The next twenty-four hours is going to be a struggle. This will be the fourth birthday Dad and I have celebrated her life without her. They say it gets easier and the pain eases. They, whoever they are, are full of shit. The pain is there, front and center in my chest. I can feel it pound like thunder. This is the same pain I felt that night, the night we lost her. It does, however, get easier to hide. I have be a pro at hiding how her death and that night still affect me.

I hear my roommate and best friend, Nicole, pacing outside my bedroom door. She knows tomorrow is my mother’s birthday. Freshman year, I was a total basket case. I wasn’t ready to talk about that night, but I had to give her something. I told her about my mother dying, but I didn’t want to talk about the details. Nic is amazing and has never pushed me for specifics. She always just lets me know she’s there for me. There is no way I could have survived college without her. I know it bothers her that I haven’t opened up and given her the details. Honestly, it’s not that I don’t want her to know, but that I don’t want to think about it or talk about it more than I have to. I don’t want to...
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