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My Clarity

My Clarity

Description : My Clarity

Life presents you with many roads, but two things remain constant: you’re born, and when it’s your time, you die. Struck by cancer, my father had traveled his last road. I knew someday he would get really sick from smoking, and no matter how hard I tried to convince him, he didn’t listen. He would rather smoke than live a longer, healthy life with me. That’s the way I saw it.

Wheezing, my dad looked at me. “Alexandria,” he started to say. With a faint smile, he pulled my ear closer to his lips. He was having a difficult time getting his words out. “Don’t. Date. Guys. Who. Smoke.” He tried to laugh, but ended up coughing instead.

“Okay, Dad,” I said softly with a light laugh. I wanted to get mad at him for joking at a time like this, but the irony of his words lightened the mood.

Mom looked like she was going to lose it. Unable to wipe her tears fast enough, she turned away. “I’ll be right back,” she said quickly, heading out of the hospital room to give us space, most likely into the arms of her current husband.

Trying hard not to break down as I wiped my tears, I didn’t see my dad. I saw a man who suffered because of his chosen path. And I saw a man who was going to give his daughter some last words of wisdom.

Suddenly, the urgency of this situation hit me fast and hard. I’d kept myself so closed off from talking about my dad’s cancer that seeing reality in front of me was like hearing the news for the first time. I had a difficult time dealing with the situation. So much so, that I couldn’t even talk about it with my best friend. The word cancer was a death sentence, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. Before I knew it, tears started to stream down my cheeks. My gut told me today...